Dear Adam Henry,

I know it sounds quaint, but law enforcement officers are not supposed to use the word “asshole” on the two-way radio. It’s something about using the public airwaves, yada yada yada. This protocol does not diminish the number of assholes that a cop is going to have to deal with on any given shift simply because this is the nature of the beast. Early on in my tenure I learned that the truth of the situation was best communicated by referring to Adam Henry; everyone on the road knew exactly what that meant and would start rolling in the direction of the brother or sister who was encountering Mr. or Mrs. Henry.

I’ve decided to dedicate my next few posts to Adam. I apologize for having used the despicable term twice in the preceding paragraph, but it was necessary to establish the context. Adam Henry has grown since I was in law enforcement (1976-1982), and has managed to infiltrate the profession itself—Adam, meet Officer Adam. The really troubling thing, though, to my way of thinking, is how prevalent Adam has become in the general population. Once considered a lowlife, Adam has taken up on Wall Street, in Washington, D.C., and just about every other place that was once considered respectable.

Adam’s family managed to take over the White House from 2000 to 2008, and he didn’t go quietly when his time was up. Adam now has radio and television shows through which s/he propogates on an ever-increasing scale the essence of Adam Henryness. Adam likes guns, SUVs, and buxom ladies while despising niggers, spics, kikes,… One of the great satisfactions I found in law enforcement was being able to subdue Adam, and the great frustration I live with now is having to tolerate and accept it. Granted, in our civil society it is not permitted to call Adam what s/he really is, and given the mandatory low IQ required to be Adam means that yelling “way to go, Adam Henry!” isn’t going to register.

Which is cool, in a way, because I can now spend some time talking about Adam and s/he won’t even know.