Today I’m Announcing…

Just for kicks, I’ve decided to announce my candidacy for the United States House of Representatives from Nevada’s First Congressional District. Oh, I know, that pits me squarely against Shelley Berkley, but she’s had her chance to make a difference since 1999, now being in her sixth term. I like Congresswoman Berkley. I have voted for her. And if I don’t get the nomination, I’ll vote for her again. It is, you see, the principle of the thing. When you finally stop laughing, ask yourself what was so funny about my announcement. I know that I don’t stand an ice cube’s chance in hell (which is an interesting thought given that some describe it as icy cold) of competing with a professional politician, but that’s exactly the point. I don’t owe one red cent to anyone but my creditors. And while it would be nice to think that CitiGroup and Bank of America might waive my current indebtedness in exchange for voting as they want me too, it’s not likely to happen (which is their mistake, because they can have me for a lot less than Berkley). Will Rogers observed decades ago, “Congress is the best money can buy.” That’s what’s so laughable about someone like me announcing a desire to run. The corporations that have bought and paid for our government are in no way threatened by the likes of me. Nor would they be intimidated by the likes of Adams, Franklin, Jefferson, Washington, etc. We’re approaching the Fourth of July, and we’ll more than likely do just what the corporations expect us to: toast our wienies, chug our beers, and ooh and aah at the spectacular fireworks they’re picking up the tab for.