A coworker asked me today if I didn’t used to be a pastor. My first urge was to respond that I still am, but I must be getting better at accepting that fact that I no longer am because that’s the answer that actually came out of my mouth. I do continue to cling to the notion of “once ordained always ordained” but I realize that even that is subject to how ordination is defined by whoever does the ordaining. The truth is that the United Methodist Church that ordained me Deacon in 1992 is the same that I surrendered my credentials to in 1999, and whatever has happened since is pretty much between me and God.
Having also accepted that this blog is a virtual monologue, I’ve decided to take advantage of that fact by working through the events that filled the time between ordination and surrender for the first time in journaling form. I’ve had the opportunity to do some reconstructing “on the couch,” but I’ve not yet put pen to paper as a means to sort things out. I don’t know that it’s really appropriate to be doing this in the public forum, but then this one can hardly be considered all that public. Whatever comments I may generate will be, I’m guessing, constructive and therapeutic.
I will make an effort not to assume that a great deal is known outside the United Methodist Church about its polity (it can be argued that few within the denomination really understand it). This is definitely going to be a personal journey, but I will welcome companionship and discussion along the way.
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