Lives Remembered

On the morning of August 22, Dory McCallister (Mary’s aunt) died while in hospice care. That same evening, Jean James (Mary’s mother) died while sitting at her dining room table with family. The process set in motion by these two events has served as a profound testimonial to the true meaning of family. My mother-in-law capably survived her husband, Bill, for a quarter-century as the matriarch over two sons, a daughter, four grandchildren and two great grandchildren, all of whom were present at her memorial service. As I watched Mary and her brothers, Ted and Tom, handle all the arrangements that attend death, I was struck by the great tribute they paid their mother by lovingly respecting and cooperating with one another (lessons no doubt learned from Mom). I’ve been with enough families to know that death of a member does not always generate such commendable behavior, with bickering and squabbling instead detracting from the spirit of honor due the deceased. Mary and I have long known that one of the greatest strengths of our marriage has been the blessed compatibility of our families which both emphasize the importance of loving one another. I shall miss Mom James greatly, but I have the good fortune of experiencing her continuing influence manifest in her daughter, my wife. My belief in life with meaning and death with dignity has been strengthened these past days by those who continue to live in the spirit of those who have passed on.