Pro Lifers, Unite!

Report: More Americans going hungry by Amy Goldstein

Now, here’s the deal. Let’s say I’m vehemently pro life. This news that 49 million Americans “lack dependable access to adequate food” is unacceptable. And since I advocate death as the means by which to “protect” these already born human beings, I guess my first shooting spree ought to begin at the grocery stores that are profiting at the hungry’s expense (or at least not losing any profit by providing them with food). I’ll have to give some thought as to where to begin: the owners, the managers, or the rank and file that protect the food inside the stores from the hungry. Once I’ve wiped out all the food sellers (yes, I’m afraid we’re going to have to kill off everyone who has anything to do with restaurants, etc) then I’ll need to start taking out the food growers. This thing has the potential for turning into a vicious cycle, but that should not stand in the way of my doling out capital justice to protect the hungry (who, incidentally, may die without food). God won’t hear of it and neither will I. So watch out, you greedy food possessors, because we pro life zealots are coming for you just as soon as we clean up the abortion mess.