As the Consumer I admit to being I worshiped today at Costco (which is the secular equivalent to the currently popular mega-churches of Christianity). In this vein I suppose that Neiman Marcus customers are akin to Episcopalians, Sears to Methodists, Wal-Mart to Baptists, and so on (I will always love that explanation from A River Runs Through It that a Methodist is nothing more than a Baptist than can read). I prefer the privileges of membership that require no greater commitment than annual dues; Costco has yet to solicit any “tithes and offerings” from me in order to meet its annual budget.
It is strange to look back on all those years I faithfully spent in the Christian closet before coming out to openly proclaim that I’m really a Consumer. Gone are the guilty years of wondering what my purpose in life was and whether or not I was living up to my Creator’s expectations. Now I know that Costco loves me unconditionally and asks nothing of me but my cash or credit. There is no meaning to life other than consumption, and Costco has shown me the way to the most cost-efficient consumerism known to humankind.
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