It’s the Emissions, Stupid!

Readers of yesterday’s entry will note that I anticipated this possible digression from my noble stated goal, but hearing it reported on this morning’s news that the sale of hybrid automobiles is decreasing because the actual miles per gallon is below what customers expect justifies this moment of rebuttal—even if it doesn’t have anything to do with Jesus (although I think it might). Since the purchase of our first Prius in 2003 it has bothered me that the emphasis is upon mileage rather than emissions. While there is a correlation between higher mileage and lower emissions, the radical advantage of the hybrid to the environment is discovered at the stop sign. While even the most fuel efficient conventional gasoline engines continue to run while the vehicle is stopped or crawling in traffic (thereby continuing to emit exhaust) the hybrid does literally nothing. When I stop for a red light, or when I am caught in stop-and-go traffic, the gasoline engine is OFF and the electricity is ON. Voila! No emissions! And for that, I think that we drivers of hybrids (ala South Park’s Prius smugness) deserve special recognition and treatment for our failure to pollute the environment. I’m almost nauseated each day as I walk past the hundreds of fuel-guzzling, air-polluting behemoths parked in the county garage, knowing that they’ve been navigated there by mentally challenged ingrates who probably think that global warming is a Communist plot. As far as I’m concerned, they should be penalized and taxed in every way imaginable while I want the primo parking spaces, the most generous rebates, as well as my own lane on the freeway. After all, I’m doing it for you!