Five Days To Go

I am hoping to leave the smallest footprint possible when I retire. By that I mean nothing leftover from my caseload for others to handle. Those who supervise, manage and otherwise administrate me have assisted me in this endeavor by allowing me to focus on my backlog. It’s looking very much (right now) as though I’ll have everything wrapped up one week from today. August 31 is indeed going to be a very interesting day. I am to return my ID badge, manuals, keys (not to worry, the only key I have is to my work area drawers), etc. In an attempt to be proactive I asked today whether there is a time of day that I’m supposed to do all this. The answer was: before you leave. The person who provided that response leaves at 4PM, the two people she referred me to leave at 5 PM, and it apparently is no concern that I leave at 6 PM. My ID badge gets me in and out of doors, allows access to the printers and copiers, and flatters me with a picture that’s about eight years old. Any way I look at it, there may be an hour or two next Tuesday during which I may not be able to go the restroom. Come to think of it, how appropriate that retirement day and Depends day might go hand in hand. I’m also supposed to check out with the IT desk. I’m kind of hoping for a Men in Black memory erasure so that I won’t have to remember any of this. Everyone tells me how happy they are that I am able to retire, but the air is green with envy. Can I really be properly retired by people who are secretly jealous? Stay tuned.