Color Me Blind

Today I’ve decided to be angry with colored people. Never mind that white is supposed to be composed of all colors while black is the absence of any color, because that’s physics, not biology. Everybody knows that Adam and Eve were Caucasians, and the insidious introduction of lesser strains has been dragging humankind down ever since. My own theory is that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was colored, and that’s why it encouraged the pure couple to defile themselves by eating of the forbidden fruit. It was when they were expelled from Paradise that people of color started populating the earth. This is what I find so infuriating about the theory of evolution, because the whole damned thing is a scheme to undo the obvious superiority of clean white people and the inferiority of dirty colored people. I could accept that these inferior breeds perhaps did evolve from monkeys, but only Creationism justifies white superiority (God, too, is white, you know). November 4, 2008 was clearly the last straw as a colored family occupied the White House. You can better understand what I’m talking about when you consider that only Obama’s father was black, because even a white mother couldn’t cleanse the man of his Negro features. No wonder he’s being called a socialist, a fascist, and a neo-Hitler. Obama has besmirched the pure character of the white presidency, and for that alone he should be impeached! I thank my white God for my white Jesus and all the white saints that have followed. America the White! Let’s keep it that way.