Thanks for the OJ?

My Thanksgiving shtick was apparently premature. The media circus across the street generated by OJ Simpson’s preliminary hearing nearly distracted me. But then, in what is a stretch even for me, I realized that I should be grateful to live in a country that grants us the freedom to display just how stupid we really are. Climate change? War? Genocide? Corrupt politicians? These all pale by comparison to our insatiable quest for celebrity. Thank God we don’t have a government that forces us to concentrate on the truly important issues in lieu of some criminal football hero. OJ may have gotten away with murder, but he might just get nailed for an inept casino heist of his memorabilia. Thank God I’m an American! I have the luxury of immersing myself in the mundane and idiotic without having to worry about Darfur, Iraq, Iran… Did someone say something about fiddling while Rome burned? Thank God for miraculous technologies which allow us to sit glued to our televisions and computers to watch the trials and tribulations of OJ, and for censorship of only those things that offend our imaginary sense of morality. By golly, I think I’ve done it! Thank you God, for OJ!