Yom Kippur Reflection

Why is it so difficult for me to be at one with You? [Being a panentheist permits me to use the personal pronoun.] I am literally nothing without You, and yet my oft times erroneous reasoning allows me to believe that I am. Through the gift of volition You have made it possible for me to think of You as optional, as real or not real. You make it rain upon the just and the unjust just to prove the point. I am deeply grateful that You have not imposed an awareness of your presence upon me because that permits me the freedom to draw near, but it also permits me the freedom to turn away, much to my personal peril. Like a moth to flame I am so easily attracted to material things and mortal thought. These are so tangible, so readily available as to make You seem little more than fantasy. And yet, in my most lucid moments I remember that I am nothing without You. How do I even begin to express my profound gratitude for your lovingly patient forgiveness? Each time I choose to seek You, You are there, no matter how many times before I have put You out of mind. To your glory and honor may I this day resolve to ever strive to improve the relationship to which You are always present that I may know the peace which passes all understanding of being at one with You.