I Wish I Could Have Been Tim Russert

It’s a sad confession, but I’ve spent most of my life wishing that I’d been someone else. It all started with Jesus. Forgetting the sacrilege for a moment, who wouldn’t want to be the one responsible for the most profound impact upon humankind? But the Doctrine of the Trinity does make it heretical to want to be God, and so I embarked upon a seemingly endless quest to become someone I am not. It was natural to turn my focus from Jesus to Dad because he was a powerful influence upon his congregation of which I was a part. Who wouldn’t want the status and prestige that comes with being the Shepherd of the Flock? As I aged, however, my worldview expanded to include persons even more influential than Dad. There are district superintendents, bishops and theologians among the Methodist hierarchy, and let’s not forget the Pope of the True Church against which my people protested. There are mayors, commissioners, governors and presidents who command political attention. Spiritual leaders from Schweitzer to Gandhi basked in the glory of their good works, and I have already admitted to my envy that Martin Luther King, Jr. got to be the one with a dream. I am enchanted by the world of celebrity and the widespread recognition that comes with it, I suppose because I seek affirmation of my own worth in the scheme of things. Knocking on the door of my Golden Years makes me aware that I’m probably not going to easily shake off this lifelong desire, and that’s sad in that it means I’ll go to my Maker wishing I’d been made someone else.